"Do you think he smells like nachos?"

Teenagers are weird.

Exhibit A:  Before school started this morning my first period class spent five minutes sniffing one of my students because someone thought he smelled like nachos.  At first I feared that this was some kind of ethnic slur since the student is Latino.  But eventually I concluded that for some reason he must really smell like nachos at 8:00 in the morning because that was the general consensus of the many people who came over to sniff him.  Somehow I managed to resist the urge to verify this strange fact for myself.

Aerosol Adderall

One of the things I love about teaching seniors is that they are close to being adults - most of them can carry on interesting conversations, some of them know what is going on in the world, and all of them are taking on more responsibility for their own lives.  This supposed maturity does have its down sides and one of them is that many students with ADD decide to stop taking their medication.  I can't blame them for wanting to be free of the drugs - many of them are like zombies when on it and apparently it messes with their eating and sleeping.  However, a classroom filled with students with ADD who have never learned how to focus without the aid of medication can be completely overwhelming. 

That's why I've decided that I need to invent an aerosol version of Adderall (the current ADD drug of choice).  Too many students trying to walk around the classroom or escape to the bathroom?  No problem - just one spritz and they will all settle down.  Is a class of 28 students carrying on 15 different side conversations (yes, some people are in more than one conversation at the same time) - just give a little spray.  Are the non sequiturs driving you crazy?  Just use this product and you'll be able to do math uninterrupted.  Last period on Friday will no longer be a headache-inducing near waste of time!  It's the perfect solution!